Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs kicked off last night with two absolute bangers. It started with Bob showing up and showing out but, ultimately, falling in overtime to a solid Bruins lineup that didn’t allow frustration dictate the day. That was followed by the first major Tara-saur sighting of the playoffs; two goals for the Rus-ky as Jordan Bennington continued to shut down the haters by beating Bishop, a Vezina finalists. While everyone continues to push forward, I’ve got to add my two-cents to the conversation of, “what the fuck happened?!”
The first round of the playoffs was Gary Bettman’s wet dream. All that man talks about is parody, parody, parody. I wouldn’t be the least bit shocked if it was tattooed on him somewhere. My guess is on his inner thigh, but I digress. With NONE of the 1-seeds making through from the Atlantic, Pacific, Central or Metro, we are faced with the reality of what the NHL has wanted all along; a meaningless regular season. Alright, maybe that’s not the intent, but it definitely should provoke some interesting conversations about the importance of the first 82 vs the race for the Cup. I’ve heard the argument from many, and I believe it to be true, that the regular season is mark of a great team and a Cup is the mark of a hot team. While the Venn diagram definitely has some overlap, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be both. Though many have come before and many will after, the Tampa Bay Lightning are the most recent example.
By tying the ‘95-’96 Red Wings regular season win total, they cemented themselves in history. Then they proceeded to get dismantled by Columbus in a sweep, also adding to history. This shocking display just reinforces the point that no one knows shit. The NHL had to reopen their stupid Bracket Challenge and allow people to pick anew because of how little the regular season matters. I have yet to read back through my predictions, but I’m pretty sure I got every single series wrong other than the Islanders and Blues advancing. The only place that .250 is good is baseball, and that’s only true because now everyone just wants to hit dingers. I still am ride or die on Vegas and will argue ‘til I die from lack of oxygen that they got jobbed and would have won the Cup, but I was wrong. ‘HOLY SHIT, someone who writes about hockey admitted they were wrong!?!?!!’ Yes, I did. I think we all need to eat some humble pie on this year. I’m humbled to the point that I don’t even really want to pick any of the second round series.
Eh, fuck it. Here we go. In order of confidence:
Islanders over Hurricanes in 6
Blues over Stars in 6
Jackets over Bruins in 6
Sharks over Avalanche in 7
Despite knowing the results of game 1 in both two of the series already (CBJ v BOS and STL v DAL), I still feel like I don’t have any clearer an idea as to what the fuck is going to happen. I’ve officially jumped on to team chaos’ bandwagon. Fuck it, let’s have an Islanders-Av’s Cup Final. That’ll get people freaking out. Also, the hatred for Ottawa would be through the goddamn roof if the Colorado made the Final or won the Cup ON TOP OF drafting in the top 5. I wouldn’t be shocked if Eugne Melnyck and Pierre Dorian received ricin or anthrax in the mail if that happened. Regardless of all that’s happened and all that’s yet to come, we’ve been treated to some great hockey, per usual. When it all comes to an end, I’ll be nothing short of sad and 2019-2020 won’t come soon enough.