Sunset, Strip

New season bring with them all sorts of surprises.

Even if you gave me 100 guesses, I wouldn’t have come up with Mikko Rantanen as the points leader to date. Or how about the two New York teams holding the second and third spots in the Metro (seriously though, how the fuck are they doing it?! Aren’t the Rangers supposed to be rebuilders?). Let us also not forget about Vancouver and what their phenomenal rookie, Elias Pettersson, are accomplishing so far. Equally surprising through the first part of the season, the fall from grace for the LA Kings and Anaheim Ducks.

Both clubs had Cup aspirations for this year after reaching the playoffs this past spring. Injuries have most certainly played a factor in why these two rank 31st and 30th in goal differential. Whether it’s the Ducks featuring an opening day roster with roughly a half dozen non-regular starters or the Kings losing Quick (shocker), both these franchises have been put in tough situations due to injury bug deciding to call SoCal it’s home.

Despite finding themselves in similar situations, the cross town rivals have reacted quite differently. LA, and more specifically Rob Blake, took the nuclear route by dumping John Stevens in favor of Willie Desjardins, essentially a glorified babysitter for this season. He’s also traded Carl Hagelin for Tanner Pearson to try and “shake things up.” All of this is in an effort to extend his time calling the shots.

Let’s not get it twisted though, this situation is entirely on Blake. You’d think that after almost a half decade of Johnathan Quick having lower body issues you’d go out and secure a backup who can carry the load. Instead, he fires his coach and makes minor tweaks. I mean, why the fuck did they trade for Dion Phaneuf?! He’s also done what every other general manager in North American sports does after winning a championship; overpaid. Primary example, Dustin Brown. He’s been super underwhelming since 8-year contract kicked in, but the man got paid and I can’t knock that hustle.

In contrast, Bob Murray has been a glacier. He somehow continues to trust in Randy Carlyle and a roster that is aging. The organization has been great at churning out defensemen and Murray deserves all the credit in the world for that but they still can’t get any reinforcements up front for Ryan Getzlaf and Rickard Rakell. Yes, I didn’t include Corey Perry; he’s essentially retired considering the amount of production he gives between IR stints.

Both these teams have major flaws, and despite their success over the last several years, they would do well to strip things down and look at a quick rebuild. This years draft figures to have some game changing talent and young talent is exactly the elixir both need.

Power Forwards of the Future

I grew up in Ohio. Because of this, I’ve seen, and continue to watch, a fair share of Columbus Blue Jackets games. Something struck me while watching them fend off the Dallas Stars, beyond the fact that Miro Heiskanen is a baaaaaadd man; Pierre-Luc Dubois needs some love. Last year, his rookie campaign, he fell every so slightly shy of the 50 point threshold (48). For a player that was considered a reach during the 2016 Entry Draft at 3rd overall, this guy has the stuff to be an exceptional power forward in the NHL.

A lot of what I do is in comparison to my beloved Red Wings and so here’s where I tie them in; I would take Dubois over Manatha any day of the week. I’m not sure that this is a hot take but Dubois’ shows consistency beyond his years. The fact that he jumped straight from the Q into the NHL speaks volumes about the guy. Now, I wouldn’t be doing my soul justice if I didn’t qualify my preference for the Jackets forward; Mantha is a scary large human who is nearly impossible to stop when he’s wants to give 100%. If he overcomes his streaky nature, 40+ goals is not out of the question for the Wing’s wing but that is a HUGE if. And to be honest, it wouldn’t even fucking matter right now with Detroit needing high draft picks, not mediocrity.

The Rise and Fall... and (maybe) Rise

As anticipated, the Detroit Red Wings are bottom dwellers of the league; along with LA…?! Now, I’m not sure that anyone thought the Kings were the team to beat in the Pacific, let alone the West, but to have 7 points through 11 is definitely a huge WTF! Then again, when you’re relying on Jonathan Quick’s barely existent groin and one of the oldest rosters in the NHL, it stands to reason that this sort of thing will happen.

Now, as I continue to talk out of both sides of my mouth, there’s still plenty of games left and when you factor in Selke- and Norris-trophy winning players like Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty, respectively, along with a top flight winger like Ilya Kovalchuk, you’ll always have a fighting chance. Unless, of course, the rest of the team continues to be an absolute gong show and Quick doesn’t return before December. Then you’re looking at a bona fide top 5 pick for a team that fancies themselves as Cup contenders.

Continuing along this losing path might be just what the Kings need. Hear me out. You tank this year. Sergei Bobrovsky becomes a free agent and you have Kovalchuk sit down with him and be like, “Da, dis ees beest plaece een aall of US. Come plaey weeth me een LA.” Now you have two elite goalies, no cap space, and… well I guess you’d have to win the lottery first, but in theory, Jack Hughes! It’s the perfect plan for getting back to the Cup.

Red Wings Rant - 10/18/2018

29.

That’s the total number of goals Detroit has allowed so far this year, the most in the league. That’s four more than the Philadelphia Flyers, who’s 3-3-0 and finds themselves with the 9th most goals scored. The Red Wings are 0-4-2.

It was fairly clear that the Red Wings would struggle to find good play from the blue line this year, but DAMN!

As it’s been pointed out time and time again, this was inevitable after a 25 year run of excellence. They need quality draft picks, like Filip Zadina, to get back to relevance, but until then this is what should be expected and, unfortunately, I think it’ll cost Jeff Blashill his job. He’s been placed in a rough situation where success does not equal progress. He’s succeeded at every other level in his coaching career and I believe he’s better than some give him credit for. The previous two seasons, his teams competed and battled despite being over matched. Despite my praise and high regard for JB, the best thing for him and his career might just be to move on.

Wait, what? Yes, move on.

Let him go pursue another NHL head coaching job where the shelves are completely barren and he has some talent to mold. Obviously, these jobs are difficult to land in the first place because, well, there are only 31 of them (for now) but it would be worth it for him as an individual if he were able to land a gig elsewhere (I’m looking at you Edmonton). I hope this doesn’t happen and I hope his name is etched on The Cup as a Red Wing but I also want to see a good coach be successful again.

New Nicknames - Jason Chimera

Some guys you just look at and go, “fuck me, the resemblance is uncanny.” Today’s player, Jason Chimera, is that guy for me.

The long time Washington Capital, was always a rough and tumble type who people did not want to fuck with. It wasn’t until some time into his career that I realized what he truly was; a Super Mutant.

Super Mutant - Fallout Series

Though not everyone will get the reference, it’s hard to deny that Chimera’s play and appearance are that of a Super Mutant.

Red Wings Rant - 10/4/2018

What a great way to start the season. No, seriously!

Despite the fact that I’m a die hard Wings honk, I also have enough perspective to realize that they REALLY need a top pick (fingers crossed it’s 1st overall/Jack Hughes) in the 2019 NHL Draft. After a quarter century of playoff berths, which spanned most of my life, it’s rebuild time. For some fans that means lots of beer, whiskey, weed or other coping mechanism as Detroit continues to rack up the L’s. Some will even go a step further and avoid games entirely (probably because they weren’t hugged enough, or hugged too much, as a child). Regardless, tonight’s overtime defeat at the hands of a playoff team in turmoil, the Columbus Blue Jackets, was the best thing that Red Wings faithful could hope for.

With rookie Dennis Cholowski putting the first score on the board for the boys in red, it felt like a start straight out of Hollywood. And despite Tyler Bertuzzi answering a Josh Anderson go-ahead later in the second, the Jackets star-power shined too bright in OT; winning on a snipe from Artemi “Bread Man” Panarin.

With such a nice start to their season, and the rookies holding their own, Detroit looks like everything their meant to be this season.

Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back

It’s the best day of the entire year; a day where hope springs eternal for, almost, every fan (poor Sens fans). A day where little boys and girls gather ‘round the TV in hopes that dangles, snipes and cellys will abound and their goalie will come up with the highlight, game-winning save.

I am, of course, referring to the start of the NHL season.

With one of the most interesting and tumultuous offseasons in recent years coming to a close, every fan can now push all the background chatter to the side and fixate on the game which brings us all so much joy. Though, some franchises (Detroit, Ottawa, etc.) don’t have dreams of playoff berths, every fan is waiting with bated breath and anticipation to see what this past summers transactions have brought.

With four games slated for tonight (Montreal-Toronto, Boston-Washington, Calgary-Vancouver, Anaheim-San Jose), we’ll get our first glimpse at some of the biggest story lines from the past couple months. How will John Tavares fit with his new Maple Leafs teammates and how long will it take to mesh? I’m going with a multi-point performance in his debut.

How hungover are the Capitals and can they repeat? Beer is mostly water so it’s gotta be a post-workout supplement.

Is Bill Peters a real NHL coach? So long as shots count as fractional points.

How good will Erik Karlsson be when he doesn’t have to carry the entire team? Norris anyone…?

All these questions, and so many more, will be put to bed during the 2018-2019 NHL season.

LET’S GO!!!

The Trade That Could Have Saved the Islanders

This past offseason was filled with tons of big name drama. The majority of that focus being on two superstar players, Erik Karlsson and John Tavares. Both have new homes, Tavares in Toronto and Karlsson in San Jose. All the experts thought JT was bound to stay on Long Island (or Brooklyn, or wherever the fuck they’re playing this month) because “good Canadian boys” don’t move. What if they had been right?

During the season, it was some what apparent that the Ottawa Senator were going to be moving on from EK65. Imagine if Garth Snow had the stones to pull off a trade for the Swedish blueliner? Not only would this have been a huge boon for the franchise, but it could have been just what was needed to keep Tavares from going to the Leafs. Based on the return that the Sens got, it’s definitely feasible that the Isles could have ponied up comparable assets to secure the Norris-winner.

The biggest flaw in the argument, of course, is that Eugene Melnyk is a total dipshit and wouldn’t allow Pierre Dorion to field any offers from Eastern Conference teams. Melnyk is so paranoid of having Karlsson in the East that he had a condition built into the trade to the Sharks; should San Jose trade Karlsson to an Eastern Conference opponent, then they would forfeit another first round pick before 2022.

How fucking myopic is this guy?!

Does he not realize what year it is? That people have the internet and sports television?

Does he think they just show up to Sens games and what they see on the ice is all they know?

What a fucking mess.

New Nicknames - Sid and Jake

It's not a hot take to say that hockey nicknames, by in large, are the most boring, god-fucking-awful, in all of sports. Granted there are a few good ones out there (McJesus) but overall the nicknames these days are dumb and unoriginal ("Big Z" or “Kane-r,” how fucking creative). Let's change that right now; I demand better nicknames. Now let me start with some fresh ones for some players that you may be familiar with.

Sidney Crosby and Jake Guentzel:

Now I know people will say it’s blasphemy to call Crosby anything other than “Sid the Kid,” but he’s a grown man. Calling a grown man a kid just seems preposterous. If there’s a “kid” out of the two, it’s most certainly Guentzel but he’s 23. That’s legally an adult last time I check.

As far as I can tell, the young blond doesn’t have a real hard and fast nickname established. Let me be the first to suggest one; Hansel. Not the fairy tale kid who escapes an evil witch in the woods, but the stylish Owen Wilson character from the 2001 classic Zoolander. This nickname came, like a lot things with the Pens, from Crosby who, henceforth, shall be referred to as “Zoolander.”

Blue Steel

If we’re being honest with ourselves, the resemblance is uncanny. I can see it now, Sidney “Zoolander” Crosby, with those luscious lips, striking the Blue Steel pose as he strutting toward the bench after serving up a saucy backhander to Jake “Hansel” Guentzel.

Eastern Conference Final - Game 7

Insert cliche here.

"Two best words in sport: GAME SEVEN"

"Winner take all"

"Seminal moment"

"Do or die"

It would take me longer to write out all the shitty colloquialisms used for an elimination game than this post. Instead, I'll just give you my thoughts on this upcoming match up.

This series has caused me to waffle considerably. When the Washington Capitals stormed out to an early 2-0 series lead, it appeared that having Pittsburgh in the rear view was the catalyst needed to propel Ovi and crew to their first Cup Final berth since '97-'98. Then Tampa Bay decided they wanted to make things interesting and stole the next three games and it seemed as though the Caps were fated to piss away a 2-0 lead, as is tradition. But something happened in game 6; Washington came out with resolve and determination which had been absent for so many years and came away victorious, forcing a game 7 on the back of a Braden Holtby shutout.

Which brings us to now.

Washington have carried the play throughout this series, in a demonstrative way. Other than a handful of periods, Tampa has done little to prove they can match the intensity of the Caps. But they haven't had to. They are clearly more talented. Which begs the question; will talent triumph over tenacity? My money is on tenacity. Something about this D.C. area team is different. The biggest of those difference being their success without Holtby standing on his head and stealing games, which had been the formula under different iterations of the club. The fact that the net minder hadn't recorded a shutout this entire season until game 6 is STUNNING! It shows that their able to get by without leaning heavily on a former Vezina winner and that said player may be on the front of a heater. If that is the case, Washington has a date with Vegas on the horizon.

If not, then I'll just look like a colossal dumbass for picking Ovi and his mates. All will be decided tonight though and I cannot wait!