Always a classic pick up line, albeit one I've never actually used in all my time spent in drunken stupors attempting to hit on women.
The answer to this question in this particular case is yes, hard yes.
It hurt like hell when the 2017-18 Devils made the playoffs only to fall back down to earth in 2018-19 to rebuilding status. I guess I should clarify, it hurt like hell for those of New Jersey fans with delusions of grandeur following the success of the 2017-18 season. For those of us more rational minded and capable of critical thinking, we realized that last year was marred with massive over-achievement. Not to mention some luck; and, hey, Ham rattled off a MVP year for the Devils.
As someone who became a fan of the Devils the season leading up to the awesome 2012 Stanley Cup run, it got me hooked on the franchise and, even more so, hooked on hockey in general. I've known more bad New Jersey seasons than good at this point. During the dark ages, Lou's final as GM, there wasn't much positive to take from the diarrhea on ice that was the Devils; I'm not even talking fast, explosive, runny diarrhea I'm talking old slow drip that's just downright sad.
All this goes to say, THE DEVILS ARE NOT A PLAYOFF TEAM and very much still a rebuilder. Rebuilding takes time, and something I don't think many Devils fans consider or acknowledge that the rebuild didn't start until Shero. All those shitty, borderline unwatchable, non-rebuilding seasons under Lou… In Lou's mind it was plug and chug with old vets with no facial hair because “fuck it.”
Never give up, never surrender.
In reality we haven't been rebuilding that long. Couple this with years of horrible drafting under Lou and Conte which netted a bunch of busts, we desperately need to continue to work through the draft to successfully rebuild and create a true contender with longevity (see Winnipeg).
The 2018-19 season is, I'd say, the Devils are returning to fecal form, since it looks like amateur-hour half the time the Devils are on the ice, but at least they are fast, attacking, supporting explosive diarrhea per Hynes's system. Now, I know what you're thinking, ‘hmmm, that's an odd analogy.’ Yes, it very much is but it's a good one. You can't deny that explosive diarrhea, as bad as it may be, can at least be or lead to interesting circumstances or situations. We've all been in the I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT position before or something similar involving bowl movements (ah, the inevitability of life). My point behind all this poo talk is, yes the New Jersey is bad. BOO HOO. We're rebuilders, we're supposed to be bad but there are some positives to take. As usual it’s not always as easy to see the good as it is the bad, and at times very ugly, but here are some of the bright spots:
Nico looks like a potential future Selke contender who produces well in 5v5, he just needs to work on winning face-offs and adding size which will come with time
Hall is pretty straightforward (Taylor Ham Baby!) and even though he isn't passing the eye test this season, the dude's still over a point-per-game so… If he doesn't like where the team is come re-sign time trade him, but you don't rush a rebuild to keep him, especially when you’re so devoid of assets
This year’s draft class looks to be deep so it'll be a good year to draft as high as possible and the Devils have Taylor "Lotto Ball" Hall
Now the hot button issue: Pavel Zacha. Look the kid didn't choose to go sixth overall nor did he say ‘Hey Devils, since you guys are old and awful at hockey how ‘bout you ruin my development and jerk me around?’ Arnold said it best, “STOP WHINING!” and look at the positives. It is what it is. Points or no points, Zacha clearly is an impact player on this team with his ability to win face-offs, two-hundred-foot game, and even his playmaking ability (too bad he doesn’t have anyone who can finish to play with)
Though the Devils managed to make the playoffs last season, they still lack many key components, which is evident by their quick first round exit. It didn’t help they played a true contender like Tampon Bay (childish, I know). This leads me to what has been one of the biggest failings of the Devils for quite some time now, physicality.
Now the Devils don't need a goon, like Kurtis Gabriel. He was called up this season for 1 game to do what?
Take penalties?
Kill a play with stone hands and the hockey IQ of a pylon?
They need players that have physicality and grit hardwired into to their games, but not at the cost of skill and actually being an effective player. Case and point, Miles Wood. He has the speed and physicality but bricks for mitts and a lack of hockey IQ to effectively utilize his tool set. Furthermore, can opposing players stop giving him the ‘I just boned your mom’ look, or whatever it is that sets him off so he can stop mauling players after the whistle and taking dumb penalties?
It’s really getting old.
This is not the physicality the Devils need. They need something more along the lines of a T.L. Oshie (yes, his middle name is Leif). An extremely smart, skilled player but plays a gritty, grind-it-out, physically beautiful game; and have you seen the man chug a beer through his jersey? The Devils constantly get beat along boards, in front of either net, or anywhere where players engage physically. If other teams play physical, in general, they tend to neutralize the New Jersey’s speed and effectiveness. To that end, I do feel this is a coaching issue that should be addressed either on the fly during games or by completely changing the system they implement because this, this is not working.
The list of things to harp on goes.
From blue liners to forwards, the roster consists mostly of bottom half players with a noticeable lack of quality prospects on the way to help. You also have the lovely handling of the net minders it is a classic case of, ‘let's continue to play the career back-up who got hot last season and has since been astoundingly average instead of the $6M goalie coming off a hip surgery who needs more than 1 game a month to get a rhythm.’ One would think it'd be smart to give Schneider a string of starts, if for no other reason than to truly judge what they have in him, but hey, they’re the professionals so hopefully they know what they're doing.
-Dill Pickle Devil
